Lost it in Lock-down

Thirty-six days, eight hours, 1 minute...

and counting

The situation has become so dire that I've resorted to figuring out how long I've been inside. As I sit here on my balcony mattress with my - for want of a better word - sick-bowl (we all have one, that big one that is reserved for placing next to your bed when you're ill/drunk and filling with crisps when those relatives come over*) of popcorn and a glass of local Spanish wine, I feel I could be worse off. 

However, unlike you lucky lot back in Blighty, we are not allowed out for an hours worth of daily exercise. I will just clarify, I am not an active person. I wasn't born with the innate ability to run five miles to start my day and the fact that there is the Run 5, Nominate 5 Challenge popping up on my Instagram is sickening and makes me glad I moved to a country that has closed its streets completely and that I only associate with sloths like myself. That being said, I do miss my weekly walk to the kebab shop... and my weekly walk to the pizza man round the corner... and my bi-nightly walk to the ice cream shop... and - 

Anyway! There are very few things at the moment keeping me sane, so I thought Id share a few of them with you to give you some inspiration or just to let you know you aren't the only one who's lost it in lock-down.

1. Since starting online classes I have been having three day weekends - far less people want to sit for an hour and listen to me through a laptop than face-to-face so I've got less classes at the moment - which would be fabulous if I could sit at the pub drinking wine and eating pinchos. But alas, I can't. Instead I seem to have taken the opportunity to be the cleanest I have ever been. Honestly, I spent an inordinate - boarder-line unhealthy - amount of time in the shower anyway, but now I must be down to my last layers of skin because I'm in there all the time. 

My legs have never been smoother, hair never looked better and I've never smelt so fresh! Before anyone thinks that it's unhealthy for me to wash my hair every day, I don't. I have started having those showers where you clip you hair back and tilt at Grudge-like angles so your hair avoids the spray. I never understood the point of these showers before, but they're a great time-waster. 

2. Needless to say, all of this time in the shower has caused me to delve deep into the music downloaded on my phone and rediscover tunes that I forgot existed. The other day, I was reminiscing to the lyrics of White Horses by Andrea Ross and Annie's Song by John Denver before Smack My Bitch Up by The Prodigy came blasting out and I wondered what sort of random songs other people have on their phones. I was then lost in this thought for longer than I should have been and left the shower unsure of whether or not I'd conditioned but thinking I'd used enough water for that day.

Side-note: I had not conditioned. I found out as I tried to drag the hairbrush through the hedge sitting on top of my head. At this point, Ed Sheeran and Stormzy were playing and I had to pause and wonder, "What an odd combination."

3. As well as rediscovering music and showering, a friend from work has introduced us to a new daily game that I believe to be pure genius and am quietly competitive about: Battle Nips. 

I'll leave it to you to decide what that could entail and tell you that you're either spot on, or pure filth.

4. With nothing better to do, I've spent some time in the kitchen trying to brush up on my culinary skills. 

Turns out! I still have none. But, I have perfected the Subway style sandwich (meaning that everything I put between bread is now cheese and toasted). 

I have had a stab at making things other than nachos or curry out of a jar though. I bought a courgette the other day, that was exciting! 

I thought it was a cucumber, but I found a use for it regardless so... that turned into a win. 

5. It's surprised me how long I've managed to survive without really drinking. There was one night at the start of the apocalypse when I had a few wines and Tom and I saw off far more of my bottle of vodka than either of us had intended, but other than that I've stayed quite sober.** It's occurred to me that drinking isn't any fun when you've got nobody who is equally as drunk to gossip/sing badly/set the world to rights with. Just doesn't feel the same. 

6. Thank, God for technology. Music, Netflix, podcasts have been taking up an incredible amount of my day. Can you imagine a world without Netflix? Last night, I went from watching Friday the 13th (the rubbish 2009 version, not the original) to watching The Land Before Time with a tub of Haagen Daz. The Land Before Time! A childhood classic that was the perfect I-need-to-watch-something-nice-because-I've-just-had-two-hours-of-blood-and-gore film. 

Can you even begin to imagine a world where that isn't possible? That is not a world that I want to live in.  

FaceTime's another technical saviour. Despite having nothing interesting to talk about, I am still massively grateful for it. Being able to chat with other people about the very few things they've been up to lately can been oddly entertaining. 

*You'll know if you're one of those relatives because the the bowl will be inexplicably uglier than the rest and will only be out because "The others are all dirty."

** I wrote this line and immediately took a sip from my second glass of wine tonight.***

*** Wrote that line and took another.